Learning to Let Go

The last couple of months have been very hard for me. Although I love working for Trabon, and am grateful for the opportunity to return there as a full-time employee, the transition has not been an easy one. I miss my boys so terribly and the upcoming prospect of putting them into child care has been ripping my heart out. Tonight, I was giving them a much-needed bath, and Xander was "toy-collecting" again. He had three toys in one hand and two in the other. He had so many toys that he couldn't even play with what he had! I convinced him to release a few of them. Reluctantly, he let them go. When he was down to one for each hand, he was able to play happily. It made me think of myself. I've been so focused on holding onto how being apart from my children has made me feel, that I wasn't enjoying the time that I DID have with them. The time while Josiah and Xander are this small is already too short--I need to let the pain and disappointment at not being able to stay home with them go so that I can relish and revel in the time that I AM able to spend with them. Life changes so quickly and so frequently. I am blessed to be a wife to a wonderful hard-working honest man and a mom to two handsome, sweet and funny boys. God has given me more than I could have dreamed-even my next breath is a gift from the Father of Lights. My emotions have been misplaced, and I am letting them go. I will joyfully frolic in and with the gifts God has given me. I am grateful. On this road, we have met so many wonderful people, and made life-long friends and had wonderful time together as a family. I would not change one step of our journey. I am just glad that God leads if we are willing to follow. And we are.